Why does a woman's body automatically become public property?

Riddle me this, internet, why is it that a woman's body becomes public property? To be gawked at, ridiculed, commented on and groped at every turn.

I've been hanging out at /r/feminism on Reddit lately, and I stumbled across this post: "Larger women of reddit, does this sort of thing happen on a regular basis??"

And none of it really surprised me, but it got me thinking (yet again). Why is this sort of thing so common? Why is it that people (both men and women) automatically feel a right to comment on or yell insults to complete strangers just because they're fat? And yes, I realise that this happens to men too, but in general it seems like it always comes down hardest on women. And I have found myself standing on both sides of this fence during my life.

Years ago, when I was battling anorexia and was much closer to the societal "ideal" than I am now, I was never left alone. Men would fling derogatory words in my direction on a daily basis. Walking down the street, in the park, to school.. wherever I was there was always some random stranger who saw it as his personal duty to comment on my body. Usually in the form of something sexual and sleazy. But there were those who still called me fat no matter what.

I delved more and more into a gothic way of dressing both because I liked it and to be left alone. Wearing long metal spikes and boots with spikes, and in general 'things with spikes' was a good way of saying "leave me the FUCK ALONE!".

As the years went by, I put on weight because of my declining health. I have severe asthma, quite severe PTSD and just recently went through a bout of cancer just because my body felt like it. I'm on several kinds of medication and none of which have helped in the weight department, and for a few years any kind of physical activity has given me pneumonia. So I haven't really had much to say in the matter of my weight.. and to be honest, it's been interesting to see how people's attitudes towards me have changed along with my added weight.

Instead of just sleazy comments I started getting the obligatory "look, a land whale!" and the occasional Moby Dick reference. But the sleazy comments haven't stopped completely either.. now it just comes in the form of "oh, you're fat, you'll be so grateful when I yell things at you" (/try to grope you in public). And to be frank it's been easier to deal with people "hating me for being fat" than it was when they wanted to just "use me as something sexual".
But why is it that my body is looked upon as public property? Why can't I have my body to MYSELF?! Why is it that random men seem to feel entitled to get all up in my business? The answer: I'm a woman. 

It highlights how women are regarded primarily as objects. A famous or admired fat man is not a rare thing. From entertainers, to politicians, to leaders of industry, to mythical icons, to characters of fiction, the fat man cuts an intimidating or jolly or wise form. This compared to the barest sprinkling of fat women who have achieved the same. Most are subject to scorn and ridicule, objects to be abused....even by other women.


And according to Reddit, I'm not the only one who's experiencing this:

[–]♀mykidisonhere 104 points 2 days ago

I think a fat joke is the easiest way to get a reaction out of a woman because we worry about our looks. Even thin women worry they look fat.

[–]♀chani_dib 95 points 2 days ago

Agree. Default insult for a woman is "fat" or "slut", regardless of her weight or sexual activity.

[–]JesusListensToSlayer 9 points 2 days ago

Because women aren't supposed to have appetites of any kind. Just be submissive little Barbie Dolls and do whatever we're told.

[–]I_am_the_Walrus 36 points 2 days ago

Or, when you're obviously a stick, "too skinny" is what makes us untrustworthy. Because trustworthiness is directly correlated with body weight. It's just lose/lose, no matter what you look like. When you've got a culture that equates women with pieces of art, surely it's not out of bounds to express your opinion in any and every situation about what would make that art better.

[–]♀imperial_scum 177 points 2 days ago

You don't even have to be big really, if you're a female and are walking/running/biking, whatever, it's apparently okay for you to be heckled by men.
I was walking home from a party at a friend's house and I had two men ask me to get into their car while they slow creeped through a right turn, leering, while I waited for the signal to cross. It's pretty disgusting really.

[–]badash13 31 points 2 days ago

Yeah, not too long ago I got stalked for half a mile in the middle of the night. I got offered 200 euro to flash these dudes at one point, by the time they flipped their car around for the third time, I booked it down an alley and hid behind a car til they left.

And I say fuck that shit!

Besides, don't you think fat people (of any gender) don't KNOW they're fat?!

[–]omg_mangos 324 points 2 days ago

Oh it's mad common.

It's why every time there's a thread on reddit like, 'Why is it not okay for me to tell fat people they're fat? D:', I blow a gasket.

Fat people know they're fat. A fuckton of people tell them they're fat; also, mirrors. If you're feeling offended because you think it's unfair to be called an asshole for pointing out somebody's weight (because, I guess, you think they haven't noticed!?), it's because you really are just an asshole.

30 lbs. ago, strangers had no problem telling me they thought I was fat, or a whale, or a pig, whatever. Now that I've lost it, the guy I went on a date with had no problem making whale noises at a different girl a she passed by our table. I've graduated from 'fat' to 'sexually harassable', so these days I generally get more 'do you fuck?' than I do 'fat bitch', but I'd rather I didn't get either.

This shit is not okay people. And I won't stand for it. 

So.. What's it like being a woman in the most 'equal' country in the world?

To be honest, it's about as shitty as anywhere else in the world (except for some obvious exceptions ofc). But if you're reading this only being used to the 'male privilege'  it might be hard for you to understand what I mean, so I'll try to clarify.

I found a comic on Reddit. It was drawn by a redditor's sister, explaining why she feels the need for feminism. And it got me thinking, as so many other things also do. What has it been like for me being a woman in Norway? What is it like now?

Well.. in all honesty: it sucks. It really does suck. I come from a "normal" middle class family in Norway, so you'd think it was all fine and dandy. It ain't.

I am no longer thin, or conforming to society's definition of beauty, and that has actually been a very good thing in my life.

I remember struggling with anorexia, being told I was fat when I weighed 46kg and 170cm (ca 101lbs, 5'6'), I had to envelop myself in metal spikes (quite literally), black hair and by definition look hostile to be left alone in any part of my day. I remember being hit on on the bus to school, by older men, and I remember having profanity yelled at me when I walked down the street.

It had nothing to do with the way I was dressed, or the way I did my makeup.. it was because I was a girl. Because I was a girl I had no right to privacy, no right to personal space, and no right not to be seen as an object for others to criticize at their leisure. And it wasn't even veiled.. people would state it outright, as facts.

Quite vividly, I can remember the man who stated his intent to rape me on the bus I was taking home in the evening, while he walked towards me. Luckily, Good Guy Busdriver saved me. I was 16 at the time.. this was one of my defining moments of getting to know what 'sexuality' and 'gender roles' were in the public spaces.. wonderful, eh?

My constant calls to my mum to get her to pick me up instead of taking the bus / train was never about being lazy. I just didn't want to get groped, raped or generally assaulted just because I had to get from A to B. And she would always be there for me. Perhaps she knew? Why wouldn't she? She's a woman too..

And it never really changed. Women are either objects or irrelevant, and even the good guys have some sort of warped image of what we should all be like. At least that's the wisdom I'm left with after 28 years on this earth.. and now that I'm not skinny or "ladylike" anymore you'd think the comments, the looks and the harassment would let up a little? Not the case.

Now, instead, I get to experience all the wonderful shades of "Oh, look, she's fat! She'll be grateful for my sexual advances!" or the classics of "You're fat, you have no right to feel comfortable with sexuality or your own body-image!". And no, I'm not making this shit up, it's not something I imagine hearing out in public. You'd be amazed to find out what people actually say out loud to your face if you differ even slightly from the socially accepted "norm". Or you know.. if you're a woman in general.

This is why I need feminism. This is why we need feminism. This is why I feel like setting the planet on fire every once in a while..